• I have decided to be silent no more. That is why I bought a loud typewriter.
• I sat down to write the next great American novel, but then I realized I was Russian
• I sat down to write a Russian masterpiece, but then I realized I wasn't suicidal
• I bought a typewriter because I am a romantic. It's a pity however that I need to use the computer spell check in every sentence I write.
• I want to write as well as Kafka. I just don't want to turn into a bug.
• I want to be influential as Marx. The only problem is I can't grow a beard.
• I write to reach catharsis…at least that's what my analyst says.
• I love bob Dylan, I just can't stand his voice.
• I would have wanted to be born black. I just wouldn't want to go through the hardships.
• I would like to be a freedom fighter. I just don't want to get killed.
• I want to be a trend setter. I just don't want to be an outsider.
• I advocate the redistribution of wealth. The only condition is that it will start with me.
• I want to direct a movie. The only problem is I don't like giving out orders.
• I love foreign movies. The only thing I don’t have patience is reading the subtitles.
• I would like to be a stand up comedian. The only problem is I can't tell a joke.
• I would like to teach a in the university. I just don't want to study ten years before I start.
• I write to attract women. Well, that's it. That's the whole point.
• I sat down to write the next great novel but then I realized I don't have anything to write about.(from First Light)
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